In music, harmony is a major factor. Two or more different notes are heard at the same time, and together they produce a pleasing sound. That’s harmony.
A chord consists of at least three different notes heard simultaneously. If two or more notes are not in harmony with each other, the notes are considered “discordant,” and are usually heard as a sound that is stressed. It might be tolerable, even a pleasant sounding stress, or it might be intolerable, and quite unpleasant.
The point is that each of the notes retains its own distinct and individual sound. It is different from all the others. And it either fits nicely with the others, or causes a stressed, discordant sound. Often, all it takes is for one note to change slightly and the discordant sound instantly becomes pleasingly harmonious.
I speak of harmony in relationships in much the same way. Two or more persons in relationship to each other are distinct individuals, and retain their individuality no matter what. If they get along well with the others, they are “in harmony,” and if they don’t, they are stressed or discordant.
Like the individual notes in pleasing harmony, the individual persons in harmonious relationships blend together and create beautiful sounds that no one of them could make alone. In stressed or discordant relationships, the individual persons retain their individuality, but they are fighting each other instead of blending together in harmony. Often, all it takes is for one person to change slightly and the discord instantly becomes pleasingly harmonious.
No matter who it is in your family that you are not in harmony with, you can make that relationship harmonious by changing yourself in a specific–-but significant-–way. In that moment you consciously exercise your personal power by transforming a relationship of two discordant “notes” into one of pleasing harmony.
In a stressed or discordant parent-child relationship, the parent must be the one to make the change and get “in harmony” with the child. This doesn’t mean you start acting like the child. Please see my other articles in this section to get the details.
3 Steps to Parent-Child Harmony is my book that describes in detail the differences between the Old School Parenting model and the New School Parenting model. Please see these links if you are interested in more information or wish to purchase.