Unacceptable Child Behavior:
the UCB Survey
Unacceptable child behaviors are obviously a major challenge for parents, and rightly so. Parents usually know what’s best for their children, and rightfully demand the best from them. How parents demand the child’s best is another issue, and is dealt with in other places on this website.
It may be helpful for you as a parent to take a “snapshot” at this point in time of how badly, or unacceptably, your child is behaving day-in and day-out. You can use this “Uncacceptable Child Behavior Survey” both now and at a later point in time to measure whether your efforts at improving your parenting techniques are having a positive, desirable effect on your child’s behavior.
I typically offer this survey to participants in my parenting classes as a pre- and post-test at the beginning and end of each course. I figure that if my courses are achieving positive results for parents, those results should be observable in the improved behaviors of their children. Hundreds of parents have completed this pre- and post-test, and the results are encouraging. After the customary 4-session course (which covers only 3 weeks), the average reduction in unacceptable child behaviors is 20%. If parents are getting better at using the relationship skills I teach, it follows that their children are also getting better at relating to their parents cooperatively and demonstrating less unacceptable behaviors. This definitely appears to be the case for almost all parents.
To take a snapshot of your child’s unacceptable behaviors at the present time (and then at a later time), print this form and then rate the SEVERITY of your child’s unacceptable behaviors using this scale: 3 = Serious; 2 = medium; 1 = mild; 0 = not a problem. Total your score at the bottom and enter the date. If you rate more than one child, use the form for once for each child and be sure to enter the child’s name as well as your own at the bottom.
3 Steps to Parent-Child Harmony is my book that describes in detail the differences between the Old School Parenting model and the New School Parenting model. Please see these links if you are interested in more information or wish to purchase.