Tag Archives: explosive child

Calming the Explosive Volcano — Handout Set

Calming the Explosive Volcano—Handout Set

Please click on this link  Handout List to view the contents of the course “Calming the Explosive Volcano.”

You will notice that the hand outs are divided into three sections:
1. Old School and New School Parenting;
2. Listening and Other Relationship Skills for Parents;
3. Use Listening to Co-create Agreements.

Listening is the only way help calm an erupting volcano, hard as it might be. The real value in using the listening skills/techniques presented in this course and the hand outs is that they empower the parent to reach agreements about how the child will behave the next time s/he becomes frustrated  and would ordinarily fly into a rage, a tantrum, or angry meltdown. You can’t put the cork back in the champagne bottle once is bubbling over, and you can’t reason with a child during an explosive eruption. But you CAN use the parent’s “magic wand” (listening skills) help the child think through his/her problem and come to an agreement with you about a better way to deal with a frustrating situation the next time it occurs. This can be done  with children as young as two years and adults as well.
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For a detailed presentation of the 9 key relationship skills needed in all healthy adult-adult or parent-child relationships, see the details of my book, 3 Steps to Parent-Child Harmony.

Learn More about 3 Steps to Parent-Child Harmony

The Delusion of Control

The Delusion of Control

This material is based on my Volcano Theory.

The English language plays tricks on us that we either don’t notice, or just live with. For example, we erroneously say, “The sun rises and sets.”

We do this with people too. On the internet advertisers talk about “driving traffic” to a specific website. This kind of talk is a delusion that the advertiser’s methods can somehow control the choices a searcher makes and “drive” him or her to the website.

We often delude ourselves into thinking a parent can or should be able to control a child’s behavior. Here’s why that’s impossible.

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