Category Archives: TODDLERS & YOUNGSTERS

How to Parent Toddlers and Youngsters

How to Parent Toddlers and Youngsters

Isn’t it amazing how toddlers can be so strong-willed? The “terrible twos” are not so named without good reason. And parents are almost universally challenged when it comes to how to parent a toddler who already seems naturally bent on resisting orders, commands, and even less harsh forms of guidance. But  that’s the way it is, and once the child learns to say “No” the battle of wills is underway.

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Possible Parent Responses to Out-of-Control Kids

Possible Parent Responses to Out-of-Control Kids

There is no way a parent can control any child, even less, one who is “out of control.”

See my Volcano Theory for more detail. In short, it states that all behavior in all people at all times is motivated by a) thoughts, or b) feelings (emotions), or both. Only the child can control his behavior, just as only you can control yours. So don’t try to control, or “take charge of,” your out-of-control child’s behavior. It’ll cause more anger and resentment, and just make things worse.

As the parent, you must work at being the child’s ally, not her persecutor or drill sargent or boss. You can be her ally by understanding what thoughts and feelings motivate her behavior, and then by negotiating agreements with her, and then by holding her accountable for her agreements. Believe it or not, you can do this with two-year-olds. In fact, the younger the child is (as long as he can communicate verbally), the better is the time to start this.

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Tantrums

Tantrums

A child throwing a tantrum is certainly one of the most trying episodes for most parents. The patience and understanding required of a parent while the little (or big!) volcano erupts can be nothing short of heroic.

The truth is, while the child (volcano) is erupting, there’s not much a parent can do to stop it. That behavior is motivated by the child’s intense anger or rage, and the child is the only one who can control it. So, what is a parent to do? Here are seven suggestions.

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